Ok hello everyone! How has your summer been going? Mine has been interesting to say the least. I haven’t been able to do as much traveling as I would have liked to but I guess thats what happens when you enter the horrible real world. A few other random things that have happened to me lets see, there was a fire in my apartment, ha that was a JOY. Sike, ugh it was horrible and terrifying. Everyone is fine but we are still dealing with smoke damage and my allergies are bugging out because our landlord still hasn’t sent the insurance people to come and power clean the way it should be. Major pain in the ass.

Let’s see what else…oh! I’ve basically decided on a career change haha. I know this seems like a major revelation but I have been so unhappy in my current job situation and I just could not figure out why. Then one day I was on a flight from Houston back to NYC reading the Delta Sky magazine and reading all about travel when I had the realization that that is what I want to do. Two things, first, as indicated by this blog, I love to write. I do absolutely no writing in my current job and I am left to stretch my writing muscle on my own time and when one works 8 hours a day, finding the time to write is pretty difficult (hence why i don’t post as often as I should). Second, I would like to break into travel writing. How the hell do I do this (SUGGESTIONS GREATLY APPRECIATED)?? Well the first thing that I have done is to research the HELL out of travel writing. I feel like I’ve been a fish out of water for the past year and I really want to make sure that my next career move is one where I will be truly happy. I have learned so far that my Gemini ass cannot sit behind a desk for an entire year, that in my job I must in some way be talking to people, and that I do not like to entertain others, I like to be entertained hahahaha. So goodbye entertainment industry! You haven’t treated me horribly but I see what you can do to people and I want no part in it!

I’m sure there are many of you readers who are like myself who just at 23 years old have no idea what to do with their lives and I really hope this blog helps you. You may find yourself in a job that you feel like is killing your spirit (as I did) but you stay in it to pay the bills and thats ok! Every situation that you are put in will always be a learning situation. There have been times where I have been so depressed, I swear at one point I cried everyday for 6 weeks straight but you must learn to look at the positive side of things. I know that my current job isn’t for me but I’ve learned so many invaluable lessons about workplace politics, office culture, and the television industry. Make sure to surround yourself with people that truly care about you and your well-being and I promise everything will be ok.

Lastly, one thing that might also help is to find an outlet! This blog is mine and as you can tell by how scattered my writing is, its the only place where I can truly be myself and not worry about any sort of structure. I get mad, I curse, I vent, and I honestly don’t care about who reads it because I do not write anything offensive and I make sure to maintain a sense of privacy.

Anyways, I have a few other things to catch up on but one thing I want to share with you all that helped me soooooo much with somewhat organizing/planning my life is the book ‘The Go-Getter Girl’s Guide’ – by Debra Shigley. This book is all about getting what you want out of life and covers everything from workplace politics to fitness to fashion and everything in between with NO sugar coating. I swear it is the perfect “real-world” preparation guide for all young women. Check out the book and the author here! Make sure to check it out. Ok, talk to you all later and always remember to keep your rose-colored lenses on!

Fayetteville's Own.

What up people!! So last night I attended the mixtape release party for Roc Nation’s new rap artist J. Cole. For those who don’t know, Roc Nation is Jay-Z’s new record label and Mr. Jermaine Cole (J. Cole) is their only rap artist.  He hails from Fayetteville, North Carolina so of course I’m somewhat biased because hes from NC and a huge UNC fan (he showed me a picture of the UNC logo as the screensaver on his phone!).  He moved to NYC after high school to attend college because he felt like being in NY was the only way he would be able to score a record deal.  Long story short after a show in the area, his music caught the ear of Jay Z and they worked together to create his deal on Roc Nation.  His newest mixtape ‘The Warm Up’ can (AND SHOULD) be downloaded here and what’s most impressive is that all tracks were written AND produced by J. Cole himself.  I listened to the entire mixtape last night before I went to the release, so here are my 5 favorite tracks. Please remember that I’ve only listened to the whole track listing once so here goes:

1. Heartache

2. Lights Please

3. Grown Simba

4. Dead Presidents II

5. Water Break (a sick freestyle interlude)

Honorable Mention: Knock Knock…honestly this may need to make my top five but I’ll let yall decide.

All in all this mixtape is very very good. It has a little bit of Southern flavor but is heavenly influenced by NYC, seeing that he spent 4 years living here for college.  I would even go so far to say that this mixtape is better than Drake’s because it features less collaborations and is slightly more lyrically advanced. As much as I love Drake, there were times when I listened to certain tracks that I felt like he was either still riding the coat tails of Wayne or Wayne actually killed him in a verse.  In my opinion, you should never be competing against someone on your own album/mixtape. Its your time to shine so please do so. 

Anyways speaking of Drake, this past Sunday he shot his video for ‘Best I Ever Had’ in Prospect Park in Brooklyn and word is it featured cameos from Trey Songz, Common, Weezy, Hov and was directed by Kanye West. DAMN the young gunna is pulling out all the heavy hitters! Its really great to see a young artist have so much support. A rough copy of the video should be ready in two weeks so I’ll keep an eye out for it for you guys! Enjoy J. Cole! PEACE, LOVE AND ROSES!

Wow...this is almost an exact picture of where my apt is!

OMG yall! I am so sorry I havent written in so long. I know that sentence sounds rather repetitive but I swear I have been absurdly busy. In the past three weeks I celebrated my 23rd birthday in Hilton Head, SC with my parents, the next weekend hosted a birthday party in NYC as well as moved from Harlem to Soho (IM OBSESSED WITH MY NEW HOOD), and now the dust has slightly settled and I swear to you this has been my one night to really sit down and catch my breath.  Ok so let me try to catch you guys up a bit. So like I said earlier, I celebrated my 23rd birthday at the beach and even though the weather was somewhat shitty it was AMAZING to get out of the city and have some time with myself and the water. For some reason I’ve always felt so overpowered when it comes to nature. I am in NO way a tree-hugger but something about sitting on in the sad and letting the ocean submerge me always reminds me that the world is so much bigger than my miniscule problems.  One morning I woke up and watch the sunrise on the water and I just came to so many realizations.  I am 23 years old, I am no longer a child. I am a woman and I have responsibilites and I must put myself first in all aspects of my life. After I left Hilton Head, I cut out all people in my life that brought me negativity. So far this has consisted of 3 people, all male and as I’m sure you can guess one of them was “unrequited love” boy. What happened between us during the last mentioning of him was nothing more than closure because since I cut him out, I have rarely thought about him. 

So on to the next topic. Amazing boy…ohhhh amazing boy. I guess the update there is that I can call him amazing boyfrienddddd hahaha! Ok so look before ya’ll start, I understand that I’m 23 and I understand that I’m living the life in NYC and I understand that he lives in Los Angeles and I UNDERSTAND THATS 3000 MILES AWAY, but we are determined to make it work.  He understands me and respects me and understands that I want to put myself and my career first and supports me all the way and I love him for it. I’m going to visit him in LA soon and I’m soooo excited! Ok no more sappy stuff lol lets talk about the new digs.

So Soho, oh Soho what an interesting place. This neighborhood is night and day from Harlem and I can wholeheartedly say that I do not miss Harlem. Im sure once streetball tournament season comes around, it might tug at my heart strings, but I’m sure I will get over it. The fact that I can stroll around outside at all hours and not feel sketched out or unsafe is AMAZING to me. Healthy delis and amazing shopping are steps away from my apartment and MOST IMPORTANTLY I have WONDERFUL roommates!! There are in total 4 of us in a huge four bedroom apartment. We rarely overlap, in fact right now I am the only one home sitting here watchin the NBA Finals! I could not be happier.

Alright so last and final topic, career moves. The View is going well, I’ve gotten more responsibility which is nice but the pay checks are really just not cutting it lol.  I have an interview tomorrow that I’m really excited about because its with a pr agency and I’ve been dying to exercise my degree. Ironically enough though, we had a WILD shake up where a girl just found out shes moving to LA for a new job so everyone in positions below her are dying to see what types of shifts will take place. We’ll see if I go anywhere lol. On the side, my friend who runs www.thehiphopupdate.com blog offered me the opportunity to conduct some interviews so if that comes through, you’ll have to check me out on there as well! Ok the game is on so I gotta watch. Who do you guys think will win game 3? I’m gonna go with Orlando!! ALSO, everyone watch The View tomorrow to see Kanye West!!! Stay Rosey kiddos!!

P.S. Totally forgot to mention! I went to the Drake concert a couple weeks ago here in NYC at S.O.B.’s and it was pretty good. Drake could definitely use some more stage presence and connect with his audience a bit more, but hes a newbie so I won’t hate. Its just that in the age of flip cams and camera phones, he should prob assume that everyone in the audience has seen his set before in a diff city so he should try to be a little more creative. Basically almost everything he had done, I had seen before…I met him after the show though and he’s a sweetheart so he definitely deserves your support!!!

P.S. If you have your own interpretation of R’s quote, let me know!!

The city that never sleeps…or cares?

Hey kiddies! I will admit I’m writing a little later than I had hoped so I apologize for that. Lets see…what to talk about tonight. Nothing new or exciting is really going on at work and I’m sorry to say that I can’t think of any super cool guest thats coming on the show this week to tell you about but you should still watch!! I was excited to see Kim Kardashian last week. She is definitely just as gorgeous as you would think she is but wtf she has completely lost her ass!! Like I’m sorry but that is what she is known for (does she have a talent?) and I know she wants to get all fit and all but ummm don’t lose what you are known for.

Moving on…there is a topic I would like to talk about. Friendship. I was very recently in a situation where I thought I had found a new friend, a person who I had begun to welcome into my life and we were even going to go so far as to move in together as roommates. Unfortunately, she showed her ass and proved herself to be a very selfish person who had no concept of anyone else’s time or feelings. I really don’t understand this. I did not do anything to this girl and I tried so hard to make certain situations pleasant for her, even if it was at my expense and the one thing I wanted her to do for me (mind you had to do with finding our apartment) she flat out refused to do and didn’t give a shit about it. Seriously people why?? Why can’t people in this damn city have a heart and not be so selfish and shitty? I don’t know, I guess I’m just disappointed because I’ve been so blessed to have great friends from school and a great family and I just haven’t been able to find that kind of support system here. Moral of the story is this: when people show themselves to you, believe them. I’m learning from this situation, promptly removing this person from my life and then MOVING ON.

To end on a lighter happy note. Last night was the first time I had been out in the city in a very long time with some girlfriends that I hadn’t seen in forever and it was AMAZING. They definitely showed me the true meaning of friendship. Long story short we started out the night with drinks and dancing at Cipriani in Soho then moved onto OneOak (I hate that place) which surprisingly wasn’t as horrible as it usually is but I could have just been drunk. We then all went back to my friends apartment where we had some surprise visitors, cant name names All I can say about the visitors is that they are well respected music artists and were very chill. We hung out, they left, us girls had a sleepover party, then gossiped about it all the next morning over absurd amouts of dim sum. That my people, is REAL friendship. Night everyone! Stay Rosey!!

Alright so where did we leave off? First I want to thank those that commented on one of my postings even if it was highly depressing/dramatic haha. Those were defintely words I needed to hear and I appreciate it. On that siatuon, there is an UPDATE: I really reached a breaking point after writing that post and although claimed to refuse to allow this man to have anymore power over me, I knew I wouldn’t be able to truly believe that until I saw him…well i did. And like any twenty-two year old whose feelings change like the wind, I immediately declared that I was NO LONGER IN LUST and now he and I are associates…not quite friends yet lol. Next thing, if you have been living under a rock…CAROLINA WON THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPPPPPP!! Such an amazing feeling to experience that while being in Chapel Hill amongst my friends, many of them on the team. I’m SO proud of Roy’s Boys!!

Ok so lets talk about something else because I feel like my life has been pretty boring lately and this specific post is sounding a little narcissistic. I do want to share one more thing though. I have a new guy in my life. He really is kind of a blast from the past though and we are trying to make things work on a different level while going with the flow…if thats even possible. Problem is, he lives in Los Angeles. Ummm yea. Its starting to get warm here, I’m way more into doing my own thing after feeling like I just got set free from the other guy…there are a lot of outside factors that could affect this new thing but I’ll keep ya updated

P.S. Check out Kim Kardashian on The View this Tuesday!! I LOVE HER! Hope I get to meet her

MS. Cheerful lol

Oyyyyy I feel like I need to apologize for how depressing that last post was!! I mean it was real, it was how I felt, and I’m sure everyone has been there at some point in time.  Now it’s just time to let it go and MOVE ON. That being said, lets talk about some happy things.  UNC heading to the sweet 16 with the return of Ty Lawson yaaaaaay! His return was soooo necessary. To be honest, I haven’t really paid much attention to anything else thats going on in the tournament because my bracket is kinda shot to hell (WTF Wake Forest?!) but as long as my team gets it, thats all that matters. OH! And shout out to President Obama for picking UNC to take the cake…but umm he gets a what the hell for saying “don’t let me down Tarheels, don’t let down America” hahaha uh no pressure. I can’t really think of much else to say since I was basically a hermit all weekend because I was feeling down in the dumps, but I have returned to normal and will be hitting the streets for more fun NY info for everyone. Stay Rosey!

For your listening pleasure, heres what I’m into right now: Must Be Love – Cassie feat. Diddy

Alright so I should be working, but this situation is weighing heavy on my heart and I need to do a little therapy right now.  I’ve found myself in an almost two year situation where I constantly feel like I’m not good enough. My faith teaches me that I should love unconditionally but at what point do we continue to love someone when you feel like that same level of love will never be returned? I will admit that with this person, I wasn’t all I could have been…and although I feel like I’ve changed so much, we are not physically near each other so I can’t prove to him that I’ve changed. At the same time though…would it matter? This almost doesn’t feel like a situation of “too little too late” because I truly feel as though he never at any point felt the way that I felt about him.  This is all coming from the very recent realization that he knows that I’m upset and he knows that there is someone in my life who I wish would see me for who I really am but he has NO IDEA that that person is him.  He literally said to me “I know how that feels, to try so hard and not get any recognition.” Part of me wanted to scream. I don’t know if hes trying to make a joke or if he’s actually that oblivious to my feelings for him. More importantly, I don’t know which of these options would make the better explanation…God this hurts but I must remember that time and forgiveness heals all wounds. If you’ve ever felt this way, please feel free to share.